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3 things to consider before having a child

Updated: Nov 7, 2023

Am I ready to become a mother? How do i know it's the right time?

“Being a Mother is not about what you gave up to have a child, but what you gained from having one”- Unknown

How can you know whether you're ready to take such a big step?
Here are three things to consider before making such a major and life-changing decision.

Your mental health

How are you mentally? How’s your self esteem? Do you love yourself? Do you take good care of yourself?

"A happy child is the result of a happy parent. Don't forget to treat yourself well." – Kimberly Scanlon.

Flight attendants usually tell passengers to put on their own oxygen masks first before helping the person next to them in case of an emergency. Every aspect of life is similar in this regard. Putting on your own oxygen mask first means taking care of your own needs so you can help other people.

With this being said , for you to be able to care for your child, you have to be in the correct state of mind?
To be ready for the physical and emotional demands of caring for a newborn, you and your partner need to be in a healthy emotional relationship.

Take time to get to know yourself, practice patience, and most importantly, remember that if you are having a child, it must be for your own willingness and sake. It can’t be just because your partner wants a child or because your family and friends are pressuring you, because, after all, nobody appreciates the blame game.

Your Partner

Who you choose to procreate with will have an effect on both yours and your kid's lives.
Most women dream of finding that right person, getting married, and starting a family. I am not judging anyone whose dream was never to get married and start a family. I believe everyone deserves and has the right to do what makes them happy. I do understand and respect all women that don't want to have a child.
Pay attention to how he handles pressure. How does he react when he's mad? Is he reasonable? Does he apologize when he makes a mistake? Is he mature enough to say, "Let us put all of this behind us and work on our relationship"?

Don't you dare ever, not even for a second, think that he is going to change after you get married or after you have kids, things will be different. Be brave enough to know and recognize what's good for you, and it will consequently be good for your future baby. Just loving someone isn’t enough to start a family.

Your Finances

Starting a family requires a solid financial foundation. In spite of the fact that many people believe that money does not bring happiness, having a steady source of income is essential to a person's well-being.
You don't have to be wealthy to start a family, but let's be honest if you are, 80% of your problems are GONE! But being more realistic , having enough money to "get your own back" is all you need.
Imagine being in a situation where you have to stay in a relationship because if you leave, you won't be able to feed the baby. That wouldn’t be good at all!

There is no 'perfect' time to become a mother. However, I believe that there is a 'right time' to do so. Let me explain !
Being pregnant at a young age can be fraught with difficulties, especially financially. On the other hand, if you wait until you're 35 or 40 years old before having your first baby, you will face the risk of health difficulties. Remember that I am talking about planned pregnancy , not about those who get pregnant unexpectedly or those who couldn’t get pregnant before 35 or 40 because due to infertility.

By becoming financially secure, in the sense that you no longer need to rely on others for your financial well-being. I mean It's okay to accept and receive aid from others, but you shouldn't become overly reliant on it. To me, being financially stable means having a job that pays the bills, owning a home (even if it's not your dream home just yet), or being able to pay the rent.
Make sure you're solid enough before bringing a new life into the world.

I hope these tips helped you in anyway , xoxo MommyLu.
Stay safe Mamas 😘❤️


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